#47 - Go Dancing on a Saturday Night

#47 - Go out dancing on a Saturday night
Irish Murphy's, Brisbane - Saturday 19th March

Last night was a moderately boozey night last night, the first in well over a year and I am truly amazed at:

a) how much fun I had in a shithole of an Irish drinking establishment and;
b) how clueless some men are. Absolutely. Clueless.

Example A:

I'm at the bar when tall, black dude whom we will call Joel Garner slides up next to me and says in a deep Carribean accent, "My dear I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are. You are truly beautiful. What are you doing here tonight?"

Me: Oh I've just had dinner with some friends and we thought we'd have a drink or two and maybe a dance afterwards.

Joel Garner: And what are you doing afterwards?

Me: Oh I'll probably just have a few drinks and go home.

JG: Maybe you'd like to call me afterwards and we can spend some time together?

Me: (horrifed, yet maintaining polite composure) Oh no I just want to spend some time with my friends. I haven't seen them for a while.

JG: Ok so maybe I'll give you my number and we can catch up some other time?

Me: (thinking 'are you seriously serious mate you are clueless') Maybe another time.

JG: ok I'll get your number and I'll call you.

Me: (thinking this will be an easy way to get rid of him and excuse myself to go back to my friends) Sure (hands over digits)

JG: I'll call your phone now to make sure it's the right number. (It is. Phone calls, registers in my missed calls list)

Me: ok, well have a nice night! (bids Joel Garner farewell)

..... later... when I get home......

Promptly locating Joel Garner's number in my missed calls list, I save the number giving it the name of 'Do Not Answer'. It's a little trick one of my best gay buddies ever gave me. Sooner or later (for my gay buddy at least) you just get a long list of them in your phone, you forget who's who but all you need to know is Some Dipshit is Calling So Don't Pick Up The Phone. That is, if they actually go to the trouble of calling. Usually however it's just a stupid fricking lazy text message.

...... update on Joel Garner......

As I was writing this I got a text message from Do Not Answer saying 'hello nicole dear how did your nite end?'.

1) I don't respond to text messages from dudes who say they are going to call. A text message is not a phone call. NEXT!

2) I don't date or communicate with dudes who can not spell. I make no exceptions for text speak. NEXT!